Saturday, November 2, 2013

Finally, puking has a purpose

"24 hour bug". It's a phrase guaranteed to make you quake in fear. They cause issues with existing health problems, generally leave you miserable, and the vast majority seem to involve spending days in way to close of proximity with the porcelain throne.

Since taking immune suppressing meds means, well, I have not much of an immune system left to attack invaders, I tend to catch All the Things. Which in turn means that while I love kiddos, I generally avoid large gatherings of the. Dumb me not only handed out Halloween candy this year, but I then reached into the same germy bowl, pulled out a piece, and ate it. Without washing my hands and the wrapper first. Lesson learned.

After spending 2 days nauseous and generally feeling blah due to puking up all my meds yesterday, I looked A Site today. Hair oily and sticking out. Teeth still unbrushed for the morning. PJs that I've been wearing 24/7 for 2 days.

Then it happens. My doorbell rings. I glance through my window next to the door and can tell it's 2 people but can't see more than that. So I open my door, leaving the glass storm door firmly shut, and see two women I do not recognize. A pamphlet is promptly shoved in my face as they start babbling about being saved. Now, I have nothing wrong with religion of pretty much any color, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone. I'm very much live and let live on religion. I don't shove my faith in your face. Please don't do so to me.

So, feeling snarky, contending with a stomach bug and Aunt Flo, I glance at the woman, make a retching motion, and mutter in my sickest sounding voice, "I'm contagious." I have never seen someone scuttle in the opposite direction  so fast! Finally, puking has a purpose.


  1. That sounds as effective (but way less comfortable, body-wise) than borrowing my sister's ball python to wear around my neck when the JWs (who believe in a direct link between serpents and satan) came calling. ;)

    Feel better soon, babe. *hugs*

    1. Your method definitely sounds like more fun!

  2. I'm so sorry you are sick, but I've really got to adopt that method of making The Witnesses go away!

  3. I would have prefered Witnesses- they dress nice and introduce themselves, at least. These two had on old coats and no names were given- just "Accept and be Saved!!!" Completely weird.